Happy first of December! Weather is getting cold and staying in bed is something I look forward to each day. Hby?
Some Christmas inspiration for you all! ✨🎅🏼🤶🏼🌲
Today I went out and took these amazing photos. Aren’t they beautiful?
Its has been a while since my last post. How are you all doing?I haven’t reviewed class in a while either. I just had one the other day and one soon! (Saturday)
As usual class was great and though it was hard at times I really enjoyed it.; For the first time I did the whole class in my pointe shoes. My teacher recommended it to help break my pointe shoes because they were and still are, rock hard. 😂 Every time I walk or jump my shoes would be ringing and I am terribly flustered by it. You see I am usually the unnoticeable one in the classroom and it is not any different in the studio.
Just as I was getting the hang of balancing on flat shoes the pointe shoes took it to another level. 😭 But I’m so happy with the progress I am getting from wearing them. My legs are aching especially my calves after the other night’s class and it doesn’t usually happen often. Also I have noticed I hold my breath a lot during class and it always make me red in the face. Anyone else do this too?
Below represents well how I feel at the moment in regards to my mental and physical body. Tired. Confused. In turmoil.
I haven’t been quite honest with you guys. I have been awfully lost these past few weeks trying to discover what I am truly want to pursue in the future. Hence, for not posting in a while. I have mentioned previously I was attending college majoring in Computer Science. After several weeks into the course-maybe 2 months and a few weeks I have realised it just wasn’t for me. I was struggling a lot and it stressed me out so much. I hate to think of what I would be like if I survived 1st and started 2nd year.
I hated that ballet was placed in the back seat of my mind. All I was doing was going to class anxiously waiting for the next exam and waiting for the next day to arrive. I lacked motivation to practice my dancing and I wasn’t even happy.
In all honesty, I had previously told people close to me countless times during the last two months that I didn’t think it was the right choice for me but right after these conversations I would decide to continue on…
This is NOT a good thing to do! One thing I would say to anyone out there is that if you are ever doubting something whether you should do something or not don’t do it. It will save you time and you will be much happier.
Last week, I went to my programme office and told them of what I wanted to do, that was to withdraw from my course. This means I’m course-less at the moment! 😭 I will have to wait until next year to reapply for another uni. Right now, I’m thinking of finding a much needed job to supplement me. Wish me luck!
On a brighter note, dancing will be of greater focus since I am officially-(kind of) taking a gap year? Still I know I will be returning to uni soon. I also think I may have found the right course after countless days of research and YouTube videos. 😂 And this time I really feel it is something I see myself doing. I guess only time will tell what will happen in the future. I am also not forgetting my dream of being a dancer. But I have realised it is not a firing passion as it once was for me to become professional. Of course I will continue with dancing throughout my life and with this I will grow and develop my technique. I think a part of me is already accepting the fact that my chances are pretty slim now. But that doesn’t stop me from dancing. It would be a pleasure though if I had a fighting chance. A part of me is hopeful yet accepting too.
Somehow something clicked in me. Yes I want to pursue this dream but is it realistic?
A heartfelt post for you all and a tiny bit depressing.
I was debating whether to post this as I feel it is way too personal but I think all my followers (who are amazing!) have the right to know. It’s incredible the people you can meet through just writing. I am extremely grateful for you all.
Lots of ❤️
See you in my next post!